Archive for October, 2009

WEEK 7 RECAP

October 29, 2009
larry_johnson

I went to Penn State.

Yea, there has always been something about Penn State running backs in the NFL. Seems there is a correlation between them being highly drafted and then sucking in the pros. Larry Johnson had a few moments, but overall is a turd. Using Twitter to call out his coach little Larry Johnson ensured himself a new position.  Hello bench it’s me Larry. We are now officially halfway through the season, oh how time flies. We really only have 4 spots in the standings right now. One team in first, five tied for 2nd, two tied for 3rd and the last two tied for 4th. Ten teams, six spots. Time to grind.

CANUCKS (5-2) V GREENS (4-3) – For the first time in several weeks, the Canucks had an average game. Of course, Peyton Manning is who he is; a football genius. But Westbrook got dinged, MJD had the week off and Santonio Holmes seems to be fading as the number one target for Big Ben. The Greens are getting solid numbers from Chad Ochocinco week in and week out, average numbers from Peterson. River Phillips is the man under center, no less than 20 points per game thus far. That’s solid.

EASY RIDER (4-3) V SWEETNESS (4-3) – Waiver wire pick up of the week goes to the Easy Riders as Miles Austin had another good game and put up 31 points. That was really the difference. Vincent Jackson had been studly this season and Brady is coming on strong. Watch out for ER. Sweetness had a good game, nothing to bitch about other than losing, although the middle three Mendenhall, Fitz and Manningham came up short. Owen Daniels is one of the best TEs in the league now and Marshawn Lynch has reclaimed his spot as starter because he makes more money than Fred Jackson, not because he’s a better back.

SPINE SNAPPERS (4-3) V TIMID PUPPIES (3-4) – Timid Puppies were anything but when they took the field at “The Kennel” in week 7. After patching up holes in his line up through waiver wire additions of Maroney and Bush, the Pups stepped up and got a big win. Dirty Sanchez and his Jets got the 10-point kicker for the shutout on D, always valuable in close games. The Snappers have looked soggy the past two weeks and are really in need of some breakout performances, namely from the first round pick, LT. We’ll see.

 TEAM MEXICO (4-3) V BASSTURDZ (3-4) – Very solid performance by Team Mexico, Jones and the Jackson’s both but in some good work. No messing up the QB choice in week 7 as the Ravens were on a bye. Now back to the QB roulette wheel. Bassturdz didn’t quite get what they were looking for in either QB and when your D/ST lays a bagel on the table, your chances of winning grow slimmer. The RB battle in NY is leading to fewer points for both backs, although Jacobs seems to be picking up a little mo.

SOMEWHERE OVER D-WAYNE BOWE (2-5) V EARMUFFS (2-5) – Cedric Benson is proving to be a valuable middle round pick for the EM this year as he continues to rack up solid performances week in and week out. The main problem with EMs scoring this year is that his number one guy is simply not putting up the numbers, not unlike the Snappers #1. I will say this, Crabtree looks legit. SODWB has a pulse again and has solid players. It will be up to the Tin Man to use his new found brain to make sure the right QB gets started, disaster averted in Week 7 notwithstanding.

Commi$h

 

ps…here’s a little something left over from the Texas OU weekend

WEEK 6 RECAP

October 22, 2009

Week six recap has to have a little extra something something to it since Texas beat OU. And I don’t give a shit who thinks this was a sloppy game or  whatever, I will take a win all day long. And you all know that if this had been Florida playing, the national media  would have been so intoxicated on TeeBubble nut they would have deemed this an instant classic. And so here we are, up near the halfway point of the season and the goal is clear; make the playoffs! Let’s take a look the week’s action.

CANUCKS (5-1) V TIMID PUPPIES (2-4) OK so you’d think this was the week that the magic 2-player formula went awry for the feisty Canadians since Peyton Manning was on his bye week. But no, two of the smallest players in the league, Wes Welker and Maurice Jones-Drew, went totally nuts, accounting for 68 points alone. Canucks are firing on all cylinders. The Pups have a couple players that are starting to wake up, Roddy White and Michael Turner, but having to start the likes of Chester Taylor is hurting their chances. 

SPINE SNAPPERS (4-2) V BASSTURDZ (3-3) With two of his scoring studs on a bye, the Snappers were under pressure to make a couple of crucial coaching moves to emerge victorious in week 6. One; pick up a serviceable TE  and Two; start the right QB. They did neither, left the winning points on the bench and dropped the game. The Turdz got 70% of their points from three guys, but a win is a win and they are back at .500. DeAngelo Williams finally had  the kind of game that made him a top draft pick this year.

SWEETNESS (4-2) V EARMUFFS (2-4) In what is always a heated battle replete with shit-talking well in advance of the game and usually for cases of beer, this year a case of Miller Lite bottles, the Earmuffs and Sweetness prepared to do battle. And what was left on the gridiron afterwards was what will likely be the largest margin of defeat in our league’s history and one of the highest scoring single game performances. Drew Brees killed the Giants (see above) and the rest of the team aside from two players scored double digits. Earmuffs had an average game, but wound up getting a worse than average tail-whipping.

TEAM MEXICO (3-3) V SOMEWHERE OVER D-WAYNE BOWE (1-5) This was one of the more entertaining games of the week. A resurgent SODWB was squaring off against a Team Mexico squad that was looking hard for some production from most everyone on his team. The game really came down to swapping Sammy Morris out for Larry Johnson, then we’d be looking at 2-4 instead of 1-5. Team Mexico got production from most of his players but continues to struggle with his QB coaching moves. A risky endeavor week in and week out.

EASY RIDERS (3-3) V THE GREENS (3-3) Remind me to never pick on the Easy Riders about something specific (see Week 5 Recap on Brady Moss). Not only did the connection reemerge, freaking Turtleneck Tom Brady had FIVE TD passes in the first half and six total. And of course Moss was the recipient of three of them. That was good for 96 points…most opponents will not win against this output. The Greens have skidded as of late. After charging out to a 3-0 record they have dropped three straight, putting them in the middle of the pack. It’s just a matter of time before Peterson has another breakout game, but his production has been only average over the past few games. Don’t worry, Favre will fade late and all the load will be heaped on AP’s back.

 

Commi$h

WEEK 5 RECAP

October 15, 2009

Singeltary
Week five in the books and it’s now official, no winless teams in our fantasy football league this year. But in the NFL there is a lot of seemingly crazy action happening. The Titans suck ass, the Broncos are undefeated after beating New England and Cincinnati is actually playing good football. But alas, most of this shit is likely to change. See Atlanta’s ass whipping of the 49ers and the fact that the Giants and the Saints are battling for NFC supremacy at this point in the season. Lots of games to go boys, lots of games to go.

SPINE SNAPPERS (4-1) V SWEETNESS (3-2) – In the CBS Fantasy game of the week, two 3-1 teams squared off for pole positioning. After a strong start, Sweetness faded down the stretch as bye week replacement David Gerrard was shut down in Seattle. Adding to that, Mike Sims-Walker pulled a no show for rules violations. Meanwhile, Snapppers bye week replacement, Matt Hasselbeck went nuts against the Jags and combined with Andre Johnson’s beastly ways, the Snappers rolled to a 50-point victory.

CANUCKS (4-1) V BASSTURDZ (2-3) – And again, the Canucks do it with a combination of two players, Peyton Manning and the Giants DST. The rest of his team combined for less than what Manning accounted for on his own. On the Bassturdz front, a costly decision to leave Sista Soulja (Kellen Winslow) on the bench resulted in a loss. It didn’t help that Ahmad Bradshaw took all of Brandon Jacobs TDs. This was a tight battle down to the end of MNF.

THE GREENS (3-2) V TIMID PUPPIES (2-3) – The Puppies have declared themselves back after their week 5 win over the Greens. But look a little deeper and you will see four, count them, FOUR players who accounted for ZERO points. This is not good, albeit one was an injury scratch. Greens had a decent showing, but nobody except Big Ben went off. There just wasn’t a lot of total production from guys you would have expected bigger things from with the match ups they had, see Marion Barber v the Chiefs…

EAR MUFFS (2-3) V TEAM MEXICO (2-3) – Ear Muffs have really come to life in the past two weeks. Cedric Benson is running like a motivated man, Ryan is QBing as you would expect him to and TJ Hooshamyquarterbackisback woke up and played football. Team Mexico took a siesta in week 5, shit the bed, and woke up with a losing record. But even with all the right coaching moves, there weren’t enough points there to win anyway. Now go get the Charmin quilted, clean yourself up, and move on.

EASY RIDERS (2-3) V SOMEWHERE OVER D-WAYNE BOWE (1-4) – Two announcements; we have a win for the team formerly know as Bloodbath & Beyond. That leads me to my next announcement; he changed his name. According to sources close to SODWB, the logo change, Tin Man with no brain, ties in closely with his draft. A lot of the Easy Riders success was projected to be tied to the Brady-Moss hook up, but this does not seem to be working up to this point. Not saying they won’t get hot, but I don’t see the electricity from 2007 here. The Gaylon Edwards pick up could be huge though, as he looked great with Dirty Sanchez throwing to him.

Commi$h