Archive for November, 2009


November 25, 2009




Week 11 in the books and it really is getting congested in the standings. We have six spots for the playoffs and four of those teams are sitting at 7-4, one is at 6-5 and two at 5-6. What happens in week 12 is very important obviously. So, it is with the Thanksgiving holiday approaching that we take a little time to give thanks for what has been a great season so far, winning or losing. We have a great group of owner’s here and we also have Kevin. I kid, I kid. Last two regular season games are on us. Do it up!


TEAM MEXICO (7-4) V EASY RIDERS (7-4) – Team Mexico got exactly what they wanted in Week 11. The chance to be the first game recapped. With a thumping of the red hot Easy Riders, Team Mexico put all the other teams in the league on notice; if you look the other way he might shank you. All of his guys seem to be peaking at the right time and couple that with a smart waiver wire pick up of Boss and you have a team that only had ONE player in single digits last week. For ER, the momentum slowed from his previous hot streak and Moss and Jackson both had sub-par games by their standards. Still a dangerous team.


SPINE SNAPPERS (7-4) V EAR MUFFS (3-8) – Both teams needed to win this game going into week 11. Ear Muffs pulled off a big trade for Schaub after Sweetness barnstormed the waiver wire and bamboozled several owners into trading away their top players. But Schaub did exactly what Ear Muffs wanted him to do, it was the other guys that came up short. For the Snappers, Queefler had a better game than the last one, but that is not saying much. LT seems to be coming alive.


SWEETNESS (7-4) V CANUCKS (5-6) – With an opportunity to see the Cowboys play the Redskins up close and personal, Sweetness’ owner decided to give Roy Williams the start. Unfortunately Roy Williams and his QB both sucked ass and Roy wound up with no points. Fortunately for Sweetness, the Canucks could not get it going for an astounding 5th week in a row. I’m not sure they have ever lost that many games in a row. The scoring was not bad, just not good enough. Tough to read either team in this scenario, as both played pretty well.


SOMEWHERE OVER D-WAYNE BOWE (6-5) V TIMID PUPPIES (4-7) – As much as the Canucks are slumping right now, the exact opposite could be said for SODWB, this team has won 5 straight to bring their record up above .500. Considering where they were after week 6, sitting at 1-5, they have come a long way. Mostly on the back of Chris Johnson, but the old Longhorn, Ricky Williams, has returned to form and is running like a man possessed. After Ronnie Brown’s injury, it was questionable as to whether Ricky could carry the load. He put much of the doubt to rest in his first performance as the starting RB last Thursday. Timid had another good, but not good enough week and such is the painful reality of fantasy football. Luck DOES matter.


BASSTURDZ (5-6) V THE GREENS (4-7) – The Bassturdz entered the week  in a dog fight for a playoff spot and remain there after posting a scrappy win over the Greens, who are also fighting for a spot, although this fight is just about done. Losing with the top RB in the league has been a common theme in this tough season for the Greens. Truth is, Favre is taking away from Peterson’s ability to rack up points because he is an efficient passer. Not a bad problem for the Turdz, especially with another 4 TD performance in week 11. DeAngelo Williams is running hard but not getting into the EZ, meanwhile, Marion Barber is floundering in Dallas because of the coordinator can’t make up his mind. Tough stuff.










November 18, 2009

“Here we are boys. Now who’s hungry for some lame duck quarterback?”

And down the stretch we come, only three weeks remain in the scramble for the playoffs. Wins are coming at a premium now and all factors, including luck, play a huge part in the determining the outcome of a game. Take for instance, the Monday night game. How lucky were you if you had the Ravens D facing the pathetic Browns…real lucky. But it’s all part of the game.

EASY RIDERS (7-3) V BASSTURDZ (4-6) – Keeping with the theme of the opening paragraph, we have one of the more entertaining games of the week. All of the ER’s best players played late on Sunday making it seem like a spectacular comeback due to the points deficit. But oh so fortunately for ER, the Ravens D played the Cleveland ShitStains on Monday night and saved their best for last. Tough break for the Bassturdz considering they outscored everyone else in the league. 

SPINE SNAPPERS (6-4) V  TEAM MEXICO (6-4) – This one was over on Thursday night as Jay Queefler coughed up five picks in the Bears humiliating loss to the 49ers. Meanwhile, Frank Gore put in a day at the office, grinding out 100 yards and a TD.  Steven Jackson is coming alive and McNabb went nuts. Team Mexico is hot, the Snappers are not.

SWEETNESS (6-4) V TIMID PUPPIES (4-6) – This game had all the makings of a battle royale and it lived up to its expectations. Both teams put up solid numbers, but in the end it was Waiver Wires Sweetness that wound up with the win. Waiver wire Roy Williams went nuts, waiver wire Titans had two defensive scores and there’s your ball game. Not sure if Beanie Wells would have done it for the Pups, it would have been a tough decision to start him since he hadn’t done much going into that game.

CANUCKS (5-5) V SOMEWHERE OVER D-WAYNE BOWE (5-5) – Another great game that came down to the wire in week 10. SODWB just needed 3 points from his kicker and he got 4 for the win. Chris Johnson is on fire–racking up over 100yds rushing AND receiving. What cannot be lost in this analysis though is the Jaguars coach, Jack del Rio’s decision to have MJD kneel at the one yard line at the end of the game. The Jags went on and ran the clock down, kicked a FG and won, while the Canucks sat at home, watched a TD stay off the scoreboard and lost. That’s what you call getting screwed.

THE GREENS (4-6) V EAR MUFFS (3-7) – In the battle of the strugglers, one team, The Greens, is sliding quickly and the other, Ear Muffs is looking to pull himself back into the race.  Adrian Peterson did his job for the Greens but nobody else really did, bad time for an off week. Meanwhile, Cedric Benson was injured early in the game for the Ear Muffs and this injury’s severity is really yet to be determined. One thing that is for sure, Larry Johnson is not going to help Cedric’s chances of putting up big numbers down the home stretch.




November 11, 2009


And here we are, nine games down, only 4 weeks remaining before the playoffs begin. Separation is key here. This is also about the time that games in the NFL start going in wacky directions. Take the stupid ass Eagles for instance. They use challenge flags to try and get first downs, not once, but twice. La La La La LAME. And how about the Buccaneers going ahead and pounding the Packers, what is that all about? Anyway, it’s what they call “nut-cuttin'” time in our league for damn near everyone. No team is so far out in front that missing the playoffs is out of the question and everyone else has a chance…seemingly.

EASY RIDERS (6-3) V CANUCKS (5-4) – Arguably the hottest team in the league, the Easy Riders quickly opened up a can on the Canucks. Joseph Addai finally seems healthy and got a couple TDs for the Colts on Sunday, Vincent Jackson continues to dominate opposing DBs and of course, at the risk of sounding like a line from the movie Milk,  Tom loves Randy. The Canucks main problem in Week 9 was a lack of TDs, only two for the entire team. Even thought they hit 100 points, 2 TDs is too few. The Canucks look a little vulnerable right now, but  that’s really due to the fact that Manning hasn’t hit 30+ for the last two weeks.

SPINE SNAPPERS (6-3) V GREENS (4-5) – With the weekly struggles at QB continuing for the Spine Snappers, it was back to the drawing board with old Jay Queefler in the hopes that some points would amass in his column. Good thing was, the Cardinals jumped all over the Bears quicker than the OU idiot Tommie Harris got ejected from the game, forcing Queefler to pass, and pass he did, 300+ yds and 3 TDs. Catching the Greens with Peterson on a bye didn’t hurt either, although River Phillips tried to make it a game with his last second heroics. The Cowboy heavy lineup didn’t earn the points it needed for the victory and the Greens slide to 4-5.

SWEETNESS (5-4) V TEAM MEXICO (5-4) – This one was damn near over after the first round of games and good enough to ruin Team Mexico’s afternoon. Sweetness jumped all over the Mexicans and never looked back, registering score after score from Fitz, Sims-Walker, Rice, Brown and the list goes on. Team Mexico had the same lack of TD issues as the Canucks, but it really wouldn’t have mattered, a 72-point beating is what it is, forget about it, it’s done, and there’s nothing you could do about it. (Re-read last line in Goodfellas accent, starting with “a 72-point beating…”)

TIMID PUPPIES (4-5) V EARMUFFS (2-7) – When you get 87 points out of three players, you are going to win, it’s almost a guarantee. And that is what the Pups got out of Rogers, Turner, and the STUD Greg Olsen. Wait a minute, what? Yes, that is right, Greg Olsen shot his wad for the entire year in one game, catching THREE TDs from the Queefster in Chi-town. Nice waiver wire get. Earmuffs, although not completely out of it, are firmly planted on the bottom. It will take winning out to have a shot at the playoffs.

BASSTURDZ (4-5) V SOMEWHERE OVER D-WAYNE BOWE (4-5) – Look who is creeping up the ladder at 4-5 riding a 3-game win streak. If it isn’t SODWB. The game started off looking like the Bassturdz were going to leave a stinky one on the doorstep of SODWB, as they jumped out to a pretty large lead on the 5 TD passes from Kurt Warner. But Tiny Romo and his troops circled the wagons and came back for the win. Chris Johnson has been going OFF since VY took over as QB and Ryan Grant had the benefit of playing the Tampa defense so he too put up numbers. It all came down to MNF and the Steelers D did not disappoint “The Scarecrow” as SODWB’s owner likes to be called.

REMINDER: There is a Thursday night game this week, get your MF-in lineups set if you have guys on Chicago or SF. And if you don’t have the NFL network, that sucks.



November 4, 2009

As the summer grinds along at a snail’s pace we all get anxious for the beginning of football season. The month of August drags on like a whiny webinar narrator. Just when you think you can’t take it anymore, September comes strolling through the door, double fisted beers, eyes red, grinning and mumbling something about “foo-ball” season and being ready for something. Well here we are wrapping up Week 8 and it feels like we were just at the draft last week for crying out loud. Week 8 was an extremely action-packed week in our league. Three teams had their games hanging in the balance up to the final minutes of the game. Saints dodged another bullet, that is for sure.

SPINE SNAPPER (5-3) V CANUCKS (5-3) – In a matchup of two teams that met last year in the Super Bowl, Spine Snappers squared off with the Canucks live from TittyBall Stadium. Now if you have been following the weekly recaps, you know that the Canucks have something going this year that most teams do not. That is the uncanny ability to have TWO guys account for roughly 50% or more of the weekly scoring and let the other players just fill in the blanks. This week was not different as Manning and MJD accounted for 58 of his 98 points, or 59% of his points. And heading into MNF it seemed a given that Mike Bell would provide the 5 points he needed. Final minute of the game, Bell has 4 points total and the Saints feed it to him on every play for no gain, then a fumble. Ball game Spine Snappers.

EASY RIDERS (5-3) V TIMID PUPPIES (3-5) – Ladies and gentlemen, say hello to the most dangerous 3-5 team in fantasy football. No lead is safe wit this guy. He needed 63 points on MNF and got 58. Not quite good enough, but cardiac for sure.  Easy Riders are on a win streak ever since I badmouthed the Brady Moss connection, not  that that has anything to do with it. For the Pups, Turner and White put up the numbers that they are supposed to put up week in and week out and for the Riders, Vincent Jackson has really been the bright spot every week, he’s a stud.

TEAM MEXICO (5-3) V THE GREENS (4-4) – Yet another team riding a three-game win streak is Team Mexico. And they won this week leaving several guys on the bench that would start on any team in this league. As incredibly dominant the Vikings DST are on TV, they didn’t translate to much on Sunday, but that’s splitting hairs. The Greens hit the magic 100 point mark, but on this day it wasn’t good enough. Peterson needs to start coming up bigger in the points category.   

SWEETNESS (4-4) V SOMEWHERE OVER D-WAYNE BOWE (3-5) – When two players combine to approach the 70-point barrier, good things will happen. And Chris Johnson and Tony Romo combined for 69 points in Week 8. It’s not 100% in the bag, but damn close and SODB has a pulse. Sweetness was dealt a crushing blow over the weekend as Owen Daniels, the league’s best TE at the moment, tore his ACL and is out for the season. Having Drew Brees has been very beneficial, but Fitz is having a so-so season up to this point. I like him to break out for better numbers in the 2nd half of the season.

BASSTURDZ (4-4) V EAR MUFFS (2-6) – Apparently someone was away from their computer over the weekend because they left a win on the bench. Ced Benson started on a bye and Jonathan Stewart went for 20 points on the bench. Ah coaching decisions. Speaking of which, The Turdz dodged a bullet themselves by leaving Bert Ferve on the bench in favor of Kurt Warner. Let the gunslinger sling! Each one blundered, but only one emerged victorious. Matt Ryan brought the Ear Muffs to the precipice, tied the game, then threw a pick and lost it. Oh well, such is life on the fantasy gridiron.