Archive for September, 2011

WEEK 3 RECAP

September 30, 2011

It’sh very important to study your matchupshh

And the hits just keep on coming. Especially for The Greens. First Jamal Charles in week two now Kenny Britt in Week 3. These can be debilitating to a squad. In other news, the Lions and Bills are both 3-0…Cowboys had better block Suh . Lions have the Bengals, could be 4-0 for both. As the league goes, you could say we have parity. No undefeated teams and only one winless team. This same winless team started 0-3 last year and made it to the Super Bowl. Anyway, week 3 in the books, boyz.

SPINE SNAPPERS (2-1) V TIMID PUPPIES (1-2) – After using the 9th overall pick on hold out RB, Chris Johnson, the Spine Snappers were quite optimistic one the gold-toothed one signed a mega contract. But thus far, the only certainties here are that CJ2K is out of shape and not making the most of his opportunities. Still a long way to go. Even with a combined total of 4 points out of three players, the Timid Puppies strung together a productive game to get their first win of the season. This will be one of Schaub’s better weeks and it looks like Smith finally realized he had Vernon Davis as a TE.

CANUCKS (2-1) V BASSTURDZ (0-3) – One thing is certain in these days of RB by committee, when someone is the man, they don’t split a lot of carries. That can be said for one Darren McFadden. This guy is a beast and playing like a first round back; good pick in Round 2.  I will say this thought, I think Michael Vick is a pussy. Quit crying about the refs not giving you the call, talk to your OC about better pass protection. Turdz got a HUGE game out of Wes Welker as he torched the Bills secondary for 217 receiving yards in a losing effort. The outlook is better for the Turdz as they went over 100 points and made a move midweek.

TEAM MEXICO (2-1) V EASY RIDERS (2-1) – Even thought he started an inactive Antonio Gates, Team Mexico still got plenty of scoring from the rest of the players, starting with the Flacc who took flight for 52 points. Knock Knock…who’s there? BenJarvus Green-Ellis. BenJarvus Green-Ellis who? I don’t know, where did he get that name? Off week for the Easy Riders, Peterson is dong all he can to be a super stud playing for a dogshit team. The Jets need to run Greene more, but LT is hogging the ball. I like the Kolb to Fitz connection, that needs to continue.

THE GREENS (2-1) V FLABSLAB (1-2) – What did I say about the Gronk in the week 2 recap? Huh? That’s what I thought, and 109 yards and 2 TDs later, you got 27 points out of the TE. Fred Jackson is a legit RB with moves and well Brees is Brees, he’s a stud. As for Cameron Newton, he has been very good to this point, I think the weather made it very difficult for him or any QB for that matter to be productive in Week 3. Jermichael Finley, wow, 3 TDs, that’s huge. And rookie WR Julio Jones stepped out of the shadows for a nice game.

 THE DODGER (2-1) V CHINCH BUGS (1-2) – It’s hard to imagine starting Ryan Fitzpatrick against NE over River Phillips against KC so the call was seemingly easy. Well it also cost Chinch Bugs the game because Fitzy went off. Meh, what are you gonna do? Another solid performance from LeSean, he seems to be the only Eagle who is playing a physical brand of ball. DeSean Jackson and the rest of them are playing like soft little bitches. Dodger is just whistling in the corner glad he got a win, Megatron is a sensational WR and of course the opposing team’s secondary it’s all Mr. Rodgers neighborhood.

Bring on Week 4,

Commi$h

WEEK 2 RECAP

September 22, 2011

Adds new meaning to the term, “going under center”, IMO.

Week two is in the books and the rash of injuries is in full swing. By far the most devastating single injury has to be Jamal Charles. The Chiefs are toast now and will be positioning themselves for Andrew Luck in the 2012 draft. How much of this has to do with the lack of training camp and OTSs etc, who knows, but it certainly seems to be contagious among players on both sides of the ball. Hold your breath, we have a long season ahead of us.

SPINE SNAPPERS (2-0) V THE DODGER (1-1) – You look at the score line and notice one thing immediately; this game was essentially eight on eight because both TEs put up bagels, so there’s that.  Brady continues to sizzle as he went over 400 yds and threw three TDs. Rodgers was good to, just not that good. Chris Johnson is looking very pedestrian at this point and his time off certainly seems evident. Young Jahvid Best and the Lions have some things working for the first time in a long time. In the end, 100 points is usually the benchmark for getting a W, but in week 2, half the teams went over 130.

EASY RIDERS (2-0) V CHINCH BUGS (1-1) – Only one of the Easy Riders put up single digits and that was Ced Benson. Adrian Peterson is looking as dominant as ever, even thought the Vikings suck and are the worst team in their division. Fitz went off and the rest of the guys were solid. QB will be an issue here as it’s hard to determine who to start. Chinch Bugs showed you that they are solid by putting up 118 and only three players were in double digits. Look out. Although having two Colts may become an albatross, even if Joe Addai did go to LSU.

CANUCKS (1-1) V TEAM MEXICO (1-1) – After a nasty loss in week one, the Canucks were out for revenge and who better to take it out on than Team Mexico. Looked to be a very close matchup until Gates threw up a bagel and Maclin rode the pine. Grossman outscored Flacco? Oh brother. For the Canucks, starting the goal line back two weeks in a row did not cost him the game and Ben Tate looked pretty solid for the Texas, even if he was on the bench. Tampa is overrated but Blount is a solid back.

THE GREENS (1-1) V  TIMID PUPPIES (0-2) – Oh the Timid Puppies, two weeks in and has not cracked the 100 point barrier yet. Arian Foster has done nothing to help but you can’t have a #1 WR go for ZERO the way Mike Williams did on Sunday. Not that he would have had much choice, his entire bench is running backs. The big surprise of the day for anyone who owns Brandon Lloyd was his exclusion from the lineup. Nobody saw that coming, not even their GM, John Elway. Hopefully that doesn’t happen again. Fred Jackson and the Bills look good, and Brady just hooked the Gronk up with a new pair of Uggs, so he has that going for him.

 FLABSLAB (1-1) V BASSTURDZ (0-2) – After correcting his historical reference, FLOAT Like a Butterfly Sting Like a Bee owner Matthew Crowley was surprised to realize that his team acronym was FLABSLAB; and so it shall be. Miles Austin had the game of his life against SF and Romo really gutted that one out. Austin out until week 5. Those two gave FLABSLAB 75 points alone. Almost always going to be good enough to win. The Bassturdz need to find some production, under 100 points in the first two weeks and nothing on the bench either. Waiver wire is a little more active this week going into Week 3 is my guess.

Crank it up, week three is here!

Commi$h

WEEK 1 RECAP

September 15, 2011

White Gandalf hates your team

Aaaaaaaaaand begin, 2011 Fantasy Football is under way and Week 1 is in the books. We celebrated the beginning of a new season on the 10th anniversary of the attacks of September 11 so I give you one of the classic montages created out of the post-twin towers patriotic flurry; behold.

Yes, that is an eagle sitting on Lassie’s back.

CHINCH BUGS (1-0) V THE GREENS (0-1) – Let me just start by saying it sure sucks to be the guy that could have beaten anyone in the league only to be winless after week 1 because the other team was on fire. Chinch Bugs, AKA Somewhere Over Dwayne Bowe AKA Mel Kiper’s Hair have emerged as week one’s top of the heap team after most of his players performed admirably. LeSean McCoy looks to be a premier back. The Greens got a ton of solid work as well, beginning with Mr. Brees. The Kenny Britt benching cost them this week and I think I spy three QBs on that roster… “trade bait” is going to be thrown around a bit too casually in the coming weeks.

THE DODGER (1-0) V MOVE LIKE A BUTTERFLY, STING LIKE A BEE (0-1) – Let me just start off by saying this; It’s “FLOAT like a butterfly, sting like a bee” the rest of it is all semantics. The 2010 champ squared up to week one with a 43 point performance from Mr. Rodgers, not a bad way to begin. But this one would be a heavyweight that was ultimately lost by MLABSLAB on the back of the Cowboys…INT and fumble by Romo late and a late TD by the Cowboys D iced it. Dodger had no kicker and won. Forte looked good, Ray Rice is a beast.

EASY RIDERS (1-0) V TIMID PUPPIES (0-1) – Let the Kevin Kolb era begin in Arizona! He looked pretty good and certainly has some targets. Schaub…oh Schaub, I remember this from last year when he was MY quarterback. If you bench him, he goes off, if you start him, well, you see what I’m getting at. Cutler looked as good as he has ever looked in passing for 300+ against Atlanta. I thought that game would be closer. Arian Foster the people needs to get healthy quick. The C-Bomb went nuts on Cleveland and he looked like the Benson of old, nice 39 yard rushing TD. I expect both these teams to win quite a few ball games this year.

SPINE SNAPPERS (1-0) V CANUCKS (0-1) — This may have been the game of the week. The Canucks led 104-57after Sunday’s action. It certainly wasn’t beyond the realm of possibility that Brady could deliver 48 points for the Spine Snappers to win it, but the Canucks also had Darren McFadden rushing against the Denver defense that he feasts upon annually. Soooooo, Brady went off for 71, holy fuck; Snaps up 24. Now the Canucks were on the ropes. McFadden continued to do his thing and it looked certain that he had 25 points in him, but what appeared to be a TD was ruled down at the 1 and Bush got the score. Wow, that was a nail biter.

TEAM MEXICO (1-0) V BASSTURDZ (0-1) – Very even match up here, neither team left anything on the bench and just as many active players shit their pants and didn’t score. Looks like Mexico will have to release the Flacc from here on out because Manning’s return is very questionable. Bassturdz are hurting at QB, this could be an issue, or maybe it was just the Ravens. Big Ben could be fine. Now let’s talk about the guy who is 6-2 250lbs (which I think is being kind) that can swing his fucking leg over his head like it’s on a swivel. That’s right Seb-Jan kicked a 63 yarder on Monday night to open the season, wow. He was knocking them through at 75 yards in pregame. Just imagine what he could do if he wasn’t always on the date rape drug?

Bring on Week 2,

Commi$h