Don’t pull a Dan Orlovsky on your coaching down the stretch.

So it all comes down to this last week of the season  to determine who goes through and who goes home. Just to remind you how our system works, the top two teams get a bye next week while the #3 seed will face off with #6 and #4 will play #5. The lowest remaining seed goes on to play the #1 and the other plays #2. Per the constitution, here is the information concerning tiebreakers.

TIEBREAKER: If ONLY 2 TEAMS are tied, the first tiebreaker is Head To Head, then Total Points, then Points Against (most points against breaks tie).

If more than 2 teams are tied, HTH is thrown out and the first tiebreaker is Total Points, then Points Against (most points against breaks tie).

THE GREENS (9-3) V FLABSLAB (6-6) – You usually go into MNF nervous if you’re trailing double digits in fantasy. Your nerves are calmer if the other guy has no one going and you fucking relax if your QB is Drew Brees. FLABSLAB had a relatively meek game in week 12 and The Greens just went ahead and piled a load right on his head. Brees went for 61 and Cruz went for 31 in that very game. Greens have their eye on the #1 seed heading into week 13 and wouldn’t you know it, they’re playing Team Mexico. Game of the week.

THE DODGER (8-4) V CHINCH BUGS (5-7) – I think I remember saying last week that the Chinch Bugs could make some lives miserable down the stretch and that is exactly what is happening. He has thrust himself in the race for the playoffs and at the same time knocked the Dodger out of the clear number one position; Phillip Ritalin be damned. The Ravens D is definitely helping the cause. As for the Dodger, he found it difficult to manage his fantasy roster while throwing back Pina Coladas and hanging ten in Costa Rica. Nice trade off though. Roster is loaded with guys coming on strong, such as Laurent Robinson as such.

TEAM MEXICO (8-4) V EASY RIDERS (5-7) – This was a must win game for Easy riders and Team Mexico put them down like a rival cartel member. 47 from Eli was just not enough to get over the hump against the Mexicans and now they have their eyes on the top spot as well. It will be difficult due to the low output  over the course of the season, but it’s doable. QB will be the question going down the stretch. As for ER, they face the Spine Snappers, who are also fighting for playoff position, so this final week will be insane. Will Peterson return? Can Eli continue to put up big numbers? Stay tuned.

SPINE SNAPPERS (7-5) V TIMID PUPPIES (3-9) – Snappers hit week 12 with winning on the mind and it was going to start early as RB Kevin Smith was playing on Thanksgiving. That didn’t go so well, out of the game early…but it certainly ended well on Sunday as Brady destroyed the hapless Eagles. You see a red cross and questionable by a guy’s name and it’s usually better to sit him, but then Beanie Wells rumbles for 228 and a score, eeesh. Pups are mathematically eliminated and are now fighting and clawing and scratching and kicking and spitting and farting and Hershey squirting in an effort to not finish dead last….for the second year in a row.

BASSTURDZ (4-8) V CANUCKS (5-7) – Bassturdz have taken on the role of playoff assassin for Week 12 and Wes Welker and Sebastian just put up big numbers. Always helps to get two TDs from your TE, ask The Greens. Turdz will again take on this role in week 13 as they can put a bullet in the brain of the Chinch Bugs and keep them out of the hunt. Mind you, Canucks are still alive, but breaking the six game losing streak against an agitated FLABSLAB may prove daunting. Jimmy Graham was huge as usual and it will take all hands on deck to get over the hump.

Week 13 is shaping up to be very exciting, let’s rumble!



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